Stuck

Originally posted on Blogger 21 June 2012.

 

 

I got stuck.

Really, really stuck.

I took the week off after Easter to rest and recover. For some years now when I take holidays I prefer to stay at home (well, for reasons I’m about to explain, and the $ to go somewhere and do something don’t exist) and relax, recharge and reboot. I like doing that.

So from Easter I decided that I’d just chill and read a few books on my iPad. There are plenty of free and cheap novels you can buy from ibooks or Amazon with the Kindle app. By about the Wednesday after Easter I realised that I was still reading novels and stopping any time soon wasn’t going to happen, so I gave into the idea that this is what I was going to do to relax.

It is now June and I’m still reading. What I’m reading and some thoughts I have about that I’ll come back to in future posts, but one thing I realised is that I’m stuck.

Really stuck.

I’ve been doing Focusing sessions on it, more so lately. It is one of those project topics to Focus on. At my last session with my Focusing Partner, I came across a path with a huge boulder slap bang in the middle of it.

So I stayed with the boulder.

What I realised was that I’m on the wrong path. My life is on the wrong path. There is a lot of my life path that is right, but something in my life is like a vine and it has wrapped itself around the rest of my life and now it is squeezing tight: squeezing the life out of me.

So… I’m stuck.

I did a guided session with my teacher yesterday and it felt like not much had changed, but that afternoon I sat down and did some work. Did not read one novel. What I did achieve was completing a stage of a task I had to do. Something I’ve been beating myself up to do for some time.

Today at work I concentrated on pulling together information for someone. By the time I left work I hadn’t completed it but it was all in order so completing it will be relatively easy (it relies on information from other people).

I have read this afternoon but more because it doesn’t feel like there are other tasks that feel pressing. BUT interestingly I have put the iPad down a few times because I feel like doing something else.

The fact I’m writing a post kinda blows me away too!

So maybe I’m a little less sticky than I was 36 hours ago.